Cry, You Know You Want To..

I’m a crybaby.

That’s no secret to those who know me really well. I also tend to have my worst crying spells at the most inconvenient times and places. In the middle of CVS, on the train during rush hour, walking down Georgia Ave, and even in the locker room at work lol. And when they REALLY come, there isn’t any stopping them so I’ve learned to just deal.

Go ahead, cry.

It’s natural. It’s necessary. And it’s healing.

During my first therapy session last year, of course, the floodgates opened. Years of bottled-up shit just flowing and I’m looking around for tissue and there’s none in sight. I’m thinking to myself “what kind of therapist doesn’t keep tissues in the office? Doesn’t she know that people cry during these things?” Once the session was over she walked over to a desk in the corner and my eyes zeroed in on a small box of Kleenex, “now why the hell would they be all the way over there?” Once I saw them I asked for one and told her I had been looking for them the entire time and she says “yes I keep them over here so you all don’t see them and stop yourselves from crying. The tears are trying to get out so let them out. Stop holding on to all that stuff, your body wants to let it go so let it go.”

She was right.

It takes way more energy to try and stop yourself from crying when you need to than it does to just let the tears flow. I’ve had a few conversations with people over the last two weeks where it was evident that they wanted to or needed to rather, cry. You could hear it in their voices and see it on their faces that they just needed to let it go. I stopped them mid-conversation and asked “Are you stopping yourself from crying? Don’t..”

Ever since that conversation with my therapist, I no longer try to stop myself from crying when I feel the tears coming. (It’s actually pointless to try and do so anyway because, as I mentioned before, I’m a big crybaby.) Our bodies want and need to release toxins regularly. Tears are just one of the ways our bodies try to release the mental toxins that we have built up. Instead of focusing your energy on stopping the tears, stop and release them. Allow your body to do its job and attempt to cleanse itself of the mental toxins you have in that moment.

It may be draining, or exhausting, and you may end up with puffy red eyes. But you’ll feel just a tad bit better than you did before. And if you don’t, go ahead and let them flow some more. Sometimes shit is so rough, that’s all you can do.

So the next time you feel a big ole ugly cry coming on, let it. Release that shit.

 

Related posts:

25 Comments

  1. Reply

    Alyrical

    July 21, 2017

    I can’t even begin to express to how exhausting it can become attempting to hold in tears, especially deep emotional flood gate tears. And please God don’t let anybody ask me what’s wrong while I try suck in between breathes. But as you said it has been more work trying to keep my composure and not have my eyeliner run than it is to just release. It is bad enough that too many of us don’t verbalize our issues, concerns, or emotions for whatever reasons now we can’t express them without words either? I don’t think so. Let it go! 😉

    Alyrical

    • Reply

      Ashleigh

      July 24, 2017

      Exhausting it definitely is. Especially if our body is trying to release often and we’re just like “nah, not today, not right now”

  2. Reply

    Chanel | Cultural Xplorer

    July 21, 2017

    I agree that it is important to allow yourself to feel all of the emotions that you feel and not try to keep them bottled up inside. Crying is a natural emotion and should be released whenever we feel that we need to let go!

  3. Reply

    Carissa (The Green Eyed Lady)

    July 23, 2017

    I am a known crybaby too and once the waterworks start its hard to stop, I’ve been like this all my life. While sometimes it hits at the craziest time, Im glad that I cam release those emotions rather than keep them bottled up because once Im done I feel so much better!

  4. Reply

    blogsireadblog

    July 24, 2017

    I’m a crybaby too. My daughters even call me a crybaby. I cry when I’m happy, when I’m sad, when I’m frustrated. Once I get it out I can move on with life and make it do what it do! Great post!

  5. Reply

    Miss Jamila

    July 24, 2017

    I always allow myself to cry, It feels good to release those emotions.

  6. Reply

    Shanieism

    July 24, 2017

    Crying is good for the soul. It releases stress and bad vibes! Its a form of healing if you ask me.

  7. Reply

    Ty Knighten

    July 24, 2017

    I have a few family members that are crybabies but they still hold onto to shit. LOL! I’m not a crier but I don’t hold stuff in, either. You will know if I don’t like something, if I’m not happy, etc. After the age of 40, you just don’t care anymore.

  8. Reply

    Mimi Green

    July 24, 2017

    I usually cry when I’m alone. I don’t cry a lot but when I do it’s much needed.

  9. Reply

    CourtneyCrossJohnson (@CCrossJohnson)

    July 24, 2017

    Totally agree. For years I refused to cry or let people see me. Now I realize that it’s perfectly normal and I can still be a strong woman and show my emotions. Sometimes you just need to let it go and then figure out a solution later.

  10. Reply

    Kiwi

    July 24, 2017

    EMotions are meant to cleanse especially tears. If you dont cry your hurt or frustration will come out in certain ways and throw you off so you might as well cry and release.

  11. Reply

    Ola Broom

    July 24, 2017

    Crying can indeed be healthy sometimes. Good advice.

  12. Reply

    heartunderconstruct

    July 24, 2017

    I used to think it was weak & held it in for years. Now, I don’t give a damn & cry whenever the hell it takes me. Especially tears of joy & appreciation. Its good for the soul!

  13. Reply

    Queen Thrifty

    July 24, 2017

    Lol good post I can completely relate, but I am not a person to cry unless it’s a death or very hurtful situation. Now my siblings on the other hand cry rivers about everything.

  14. Reply

    We Natural Gurlz

    July 25, 2017

    I am a crybaby as well. The thing is, I always stop myself from crying. I often suppress the tears, because I don’t want to be seen as weak. Thanks for the advice.

  15. Reply

    Tomiko

    July 25, 2017

    That was me this past weekend! I was so upset that I just cried with snot flying everywhere. I took 24 hours to wallow in my misery then it was time to release it and move on

  16. Reply

    biancadottin

    July 25, 2017

    Let my husband tell it, I’m a cry baby too. Crying is so therapeutic and sometimes you just have to do it. It drives me crazy when people hold it in. Thanks for being open and honest.

  17. Reply

    Adeola

    July 26, 2017

    Crying is so goddam therapeutic for me too and I cry everywhere.
    People who know me already stopped asking me what is wrong because they know I can’t always answer that question.
    I have learned to honour my body in letting it do what it desires.

  18. Reply

    Hi! I'm Anitra.

    July 26, 2017

    I have reached a point in my life and age where I can’t let anyone cry alone. Whether in real life or watch someone get the golden buzzer on AGT, if you cry, I’m crying with you. LOL

  19. Reply

    staciesayzso

    July 26, 2017

    Yesss! I haven’t had a real deep, ugly cry in a minute. I think I need one too. Time to release some stuff.

  20. Reply

    Nicole

    July 27, 2017

    This is so true. Because women are more independent these days and carry so much on our plates, crying seems to take too much time or portray a weak imagine of ourselves. But sometimes you just got to let it go.

  21. Reply

    Brytnie

    July 27, 2017

    Crying is so exhausting and I feel I do it wayyy too often lately! Thank you for letting me know that it’s okay to shed tears.

  22. Reply

    Tiffany H.

    July 28, 2017

    I’m not a big crier, but I will def cry on a movie and when needed. I def don’t hold back my tears. I have had to cry complete with nose running and I was OK with it.

  23. Reply

    Katherine G

    July 30, 2017

    I so agree with this post. I usually like to let go on private. Sometimes I don’t want the source of my hurt to see me weak or let them know how they are affecting me. So I try to wait until I’m alone and by myself.

  24. Reply

    Karen Akpan

    August 2, 2017

    I am so glad i came across this post. I’m a cry’er too. I love to cry. It helps me get the sadness and anger out and it definitely helps me feel better than before. And I will let it out anywhere but I much prefer to ugly cry in my car or when I’m alone.
    I think crying is good for the soul

Leave a Reply

RELATED POSTS