To assume you need to be strong all the time is to rob yourself of humanity. – Musinah
Sometimes, it’s frustrating and annoying going through a healing process. Whether physical or emotional. But, we’re human and not robots so at some point in our lives we’re going to experience painful situations. During those times we have to remember to allow ourselves to be human and feel. No matter our perceived strength, threshold for pain, position, or gender(yes men, you can have your moments too). We can also be on top of our game and still feel like there is something wrong.
It’s Okay Not To Be Okay
This, like most of what I write about, is a continuous lesson I’m learning. I want to be okay, long-term, and not just “for now”. I sometimes forget that off-days are and will always be apart of life no matter where you are in your healing. Whether you’re just starting your journey, or you feel you’re already there. For example, I know that my struggle with depression is not as intense as it used to be. Depression used to control my entire life. It controlled how I felt. How I acted and interacted with others. How I presented myself. It controlled my entire existence. Now? I still have my days, moments, periods of time but it isn’t crippling and I’m better equipped to handle. Grief, on the other hand. It’s been a bitch. Some days I feel like it’s too much and I want to run and hide in the back of my closet hoping that the big cloud hanging over me can’t find its way in.
Because pain isn’t comfortable, and we hate being in uncomfortable situations, it’s so easy to want to rush the healing process. We give ourselves so many reasons/ways to invalidate our feelings. Someone has it worst, it’s not that bad, it isn’t a serious trauma. And so on and so forth. We want to hurry up and be okay and to not be affected. Minimizing our emotions only leave them bottled up and creates a bigger problem than if we would just face them. (I’m continuously using “we” because I’m guilty as charged.) And it’s not enough that we rush ourselves, we allow others to rush our healing as well.
It’s easy for someone who isn’t in your situation to tell you how you should or shouldn’t still feel. The worst is when someone who experienced something similar feels that that qualifies them to have an opinion on where you should be in your healing process. Only YOU know how something is affecting you, only YOU can feel the pain you are experiencing, and only YOU know what may trigger you and set you back.
Real Life Application
Last night, I was talking to my therapist about not wanting to be angry and letting certain situations consume me. I felt that I didn’t want to give these things any more of my energy and to just move past it. I even told her that I wasn’t sure if I was going to bring it up in my session because I didn’t want to feed it. How foolish? Lol if something is bothering me THAT much, why wouldn’t I bring it up in therapy to help sort through my feelings and get that much closer to healing. I’m sometimes VERY irrational in my healing process.
I posted this VERY drawn out post just to say don’t rush your healing. You’re human. It’s okay not to be okay sometimes. Breathe through it, work through it, and learn from it. I leave you with this on-time quote from Alex Elle.