It Gets Better

Today, I went through an old journal of mine looking for something my therapist and I talked about a while back. I found this entry from exactly three years ago. At the time, when I knew I needed to journal but didn’t know what to write about, I’d use random topics I found. The topic was “Why does _____ drive me crazy?”

February 5th, 2015 11:00 pm

Why does EVERYTHING drive me crazy? No, like really. Everything drives me crazy lately. Every-little-thing. It’s really sad and frustrating because my patience is tried daily, in every situation. I try to divert my thoughts, have a little more patience and just deal with things that are miniscule as if they don’t bother me at all but it doesn’t work. It’s actually quite draining. I just want to be free of it.. This.. whatever “it” is.

I also saw one from a little over four years ago that was a pretty consistent event.

November 14, 2013 12:25 pm

So last night I cried myself to sleep.. I needed that because, well I just needed it..

Reading old journal entries that I wrote and watching old video journal entries are a great reminder of just how far I’ve come. It’s actually bittersweet when I go back to those. The bitter part is seeing just how miserable I was. All the time. Like, I woke up miserable, went throughout my day miserable, and went to bed even more miserable at the thought that tomorrow would be the same. Sweet because I know it got better, and though life isn’t always peachy, I’m better-equipped to handle my low moments.

I think I posted this to just say it gets better. May not happen overnight, but it will. I have journal entries dating back to 2012 when I was in the thick of depression. That’s eight years. And if I still had my childhood journal I know I could probably find even more from as early as twelve. That’s a span of almost fourteen years. You don’t have to wait as long as I did to experience “better”.

It finally got better for me when I sought help. I started to changes the things I didn’t like (that I had control over). Weeding out things and people out of my life who didn’t need to be there. I took better care of my health, mental and physical. I started therapy. And I started this blog to help those who are currently where I was and don’t know how or if they’ll ever get out of it.

It gets better.

xoxo,

2 Comments

  1. Reply

    Wifey

    February 7, 2018

    You are imperfectly PERFECT and I am so grateful that you are so transparent. I say imperfectly perfect because even what you may deem as imperfections are perfect because you own them and I so admire you for always doing you no matter how hard that may be. I admire and look up to you for this. You helped me be comfortable with not always being comfortable and I thank you for that. Your posts are ALWAYS timely too its kind of scary lol but I do believe that if your willing to listen God will always send you subtle “answers” or “checks” to whatever is going on in life. Anyway love you hope your having a great day wifey <3

    • Reply

      Ashleigh

      February 7, 2018

      Ohemgeeee Wifey I’m cryinggg!! Thank you so much for this, and your continued support and encouragement is so appreciated!! I love youuu!!

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