Real Talk: Recurring Thoughts

I think I’ll just ramble.

It’s 9:59 PM on a Tuesday night and I’ve just finished watching two Netflix movies. One of the first questions my therapist asks me during a session is “have you had any recurring thoughts you want to discuss?”

Welp.

A recurring thought that I’ve had a few times this week was that March is almost over and I’ve only published one post on my blog. Late last year, I set a goal to write at least four a month.

I keep thinking about what I could possibly write about. I have TONS of drafts (seriously, if I completed all the drafts I have, I’d be set until the new year). I’ve revisited my drafts at least ten times this week and nothing peaked my interest. Not one of them jumped out at me and said: “FINISH ME!” Ten points if you read that in either the 1. Mortal Kombat voice or 2. In Audrey II’s voice from Little Shop of Horrors. So tonight, as I sit here on the couch, swiping on Tinder and talking myself out of eating a bowl of cereal, I figured I’d just ramble.

I would often be bugged out when I had sort of a writer’s block and couldn’t publish. I don’t know why, especially since I don’t have a huge audience who’s just glued to their email waiting for a notification that I’ve posted. My main mission for my blog is for it to reach the eyes of those who need it the most. Remembering that sets me straight. Coming up with something to blog about just to say I’ve reached a certain number isn’t authentic at all. At least not for me.

So gone are the days where I force myself to post, just to hit my quota. I want this blog to remain as authentic and transparent as possible. And if that means I have one, or two, or no posts for the month then so be it.

Some other, unrelated, recurring thoughts I’ve had recently:

  • What do I want out of life period?
  • Wtf am I doing about my career?
  • Seriously, are you ever going back to school?
  • Why do I entertain dudes I know aren’t it?
  • I just want a platonic cuddle buddy.
  • Why can’t kale taste like donuts and donuts taste like kale?
  • I’m the laziest ambitious person you’ll ever meet.
  • Is that REALLY a good idea?
  • I’m really proud of myself

Read more of the Real Talk Series.

2 Comments

  1. Reply

    Kate BK

    March 22, 2018

    Two of these – “Why can’t kale taste like donuts and donuts taste like kale?” and “I’m the laziest ambitious person you’ll ever meet.” – are RIGHT UP MY ALLEY. But I think the last one on this list is the one you should focus on. <3

    • Reply

      Ashleigh

      March 22, 2018

      Seriously, at least three of my 99 problems would be solved if donuts didn’t taste so good hahaha! And thank you so much, I’m working on continuously telling myself how proud I am of me and my growth.

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