To The Friends Who Got Me Through

I used to be so lonely growing up. I had one best friend (who’s still one of my best friends today, hey TK!) and a few associates. I didn’t always stand up for myself in friendships because I was just happy to have them, even if they weren’t the best or most loving. I had always longed for a group of best friends or a clique to attach myself to but that never happened.

I’m so glad it’s the exact opposite in my adult life. I have the BEST friends a girl could ask for. Literally, the absolute greatest. I get emotional thinking about it because I look back at times I REALLY needed them and they showed up. Where would I be without them? WHO would I be without them?

Words of Affirmations and Acts of Service are my top two love languages. I can’t tell you when they became so important to me but they’re definitely when I feel most-loved. I was sitting and reflecting on some of the pivotal moments that helped shape our friendships and I’m filled with gratitude and joy, just as I was in those moments.

  • For the times we sat in your dorm room and cried together because life was just getting too real.
  • For the many weekends that included Cheesy Bread, Rockband, and venting.
  • For the time you bought me flowers when I was down just to put a smile on my face.
  • For the time you sat with me in silence because I couldn’t trust myself to be alone.
  • For the times we spent all weekend at each other’s house just to go home and get right on the phone.
  • For going with me to get my wisdom ready teeth out and not posting the video.
  • For the times you talked to me for hours and listened to me complain about my life.
  • For the times you cooked for me when I was too lazy or too sick to do it myself.
  • For always being down for impromptu game nights.
  • For the time you jumped into action after my breakdown.
  • For accepting my weird quirks with no judgment.
  • For the time you bought me expensive UX tools to show you supported my endeavors (even if I have yet to actually use them).
  • For the time you planned my entire birthday visit in your city when I decided to never have another sad birthday.
  • For the times you gave me a “get your shit together” pep talk.
  • For the times we sat in my room and listened to music for hours, comparing playlists.
  • For the times you came to DC to celebrate my birthday with me.
  • For always making time for me when you come to town, even if it’s just a quick coffee chat.
  • For sending me handwritten letters from time-to-time.
  • For the times we met up to talk about administrative tasks but discussed everything BUT.
  • For making me share my location whenever I go on a date to make sure I can be found.
  • For the time you went with me to view my Grandmother’s body for the first time.
  • For the times we stayed up all night talking about life, even if the night before we weren’t even speaking.
  • For the time you bought me Trophy Wife when I didn’t feel beautiful.
  • For the time you made me an emergency self-care kit when a bad day turned into a bad week.
  • For the time we did nothing but lay in bed all day and finally got up to make gingerbread houses.
  • For the times you sat through me complaining about a relationship you knew I wasn’t yet ready to leave.
  • For all the Girl’s Nights filled with wine, real talk, and the occasional tears.
  • For the times you pushed me to get my ass in the gym, and came with me!
  • For the time you recorded a silly video for me to watch when I’m down.
  • For all the times you told me what I needed to hear even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
  • For the times you silently dealt with my attitude when I was unable to verbalize how I felt.
  • For the times you put a fire under my ass to start this blog.
  • And most importantly, for understanding that even though we don’t speak every day, my love is always the same.

Thank you.

And to the ones who once were and now are no longer, I will forever appreciate the role you played in my life. I’m sure there are MANY monumental moments I’ve missed, but these stuck out the most. I love you all.

Xoxo,

6 Comments

  1. Reply

    Kate BK

    May 15, 2018

    Ashleigh, I love this. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my issues with friendships – about how I’ve always had a hard time maintaining friendships, & I can’t figure out why or what it is about me. I’ve been #blessed to find some really beautiful, wonderful, incredible, supportive friends in the last few years, but because of some of my past issues, I have a hard time trusting or believing that they’re real/genuine. I’m trying to overcome it, but man, sometimes this stuff runs deep. I love this post as a reminder to me to think of what my own friends have done for me & gotten me through; I am being way too hard on them & on myself!

    • Reply

      Ashleigh

      May 15, 2018

      Aww Kate! As always, thank you so much for you support. I TRULY do appreciate it. Something that helped me to trust more in my friendships, be a better friend, and not be afraid to get close to people is to focus on the good that they’ve done. Moments like these may have seemed small to them, but they meant everything to me in the moment. I hope it gets better for you because true, genuine friendships are one of the best things life has to offer us. *hugs*

  2. Reply

    astoldbyali

    May 16, 2018

    Love this! As I was going through your points it brought back memories of things friends did for me and I’m realizing how sweet/loving they really are. Thanks for sharing xoxo

    • Reply

      Ashleigh

      May 16, 2018

      No problem! Thanks for reading and commenting.

  3. Reply

    throughherhespeaks

    May 16, 2018

    I really love this post and hope to one day get to this place. I know my lack of really close friends stems from me being so closed off. I think my best friend’s love language is words of affirmations and that’s at the wayyyyyyy bottom for me so it’s been hard to really communicate to her that I do care. I’m working on learning to love people the way that they want to be loved, even if it means stepping out of my comfort zone a little bit. Thank you for this!

    • Reply

      Ashleigh

      May 16, 2018

      Thank you for reading!! I hope that if this is something you want to change, that it happens for you. As someone whose love language is words of affirmations, I can tell you that it probably won’t take too much to communicate to her that you care. A simple “I care” or “I’m here” or “I appreciate you” can do the trick and start to show her that you’re trying. Good luck!!

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