The Truth About Self-Care: It’s Not Always Fun

I wish more people talked about the hard part of self-care. Boundaries. Reflection. Discipline. Etc… Rather than the surface level temporary relief like brunch and spa days. –@DeeRene_

The idea of “self-care” has been trending for a while now, it’s a big buzzword. More and more people are focused on purposely taking care of themselves. And while I’m glad that the conversation is growing, I wish more people talked about the not-so-luxurious side of it. Taking time to be a better version of yourself won’t always be in the form of bubble baths and mani-pedis. Guess what? “Treat yo self” and wanderlust aren’t the true meat of the path to peace.

There are plenty of self-help guides that tell you the many ways you can practice self-care. I even wrote a list myself. These lists often include the bubble baths, spa days, girls trips, or that new handbag you’ve been eyeing. The truth is, self-care isn’t always pretty, and it damn sure isn’t always fun. It requires work. Actually putting in the work and taking all the uncomfortable steps necessary to become, and stay, the best version of yourself.

True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from. – Brianna Wiest

While the cute #selfcaresunday spa days are great and necessary, we’re missing a key component. How many times does your self-care routine include being brutally honest with yourself? Are you honing in on your own faults and shortcomings, not just those of others? Are you digging deep and recognizing that you aren’t always the innocent party and that your shit stinks just as bad as the next? (Speaking for myself as well) That’s actually the really difficult part that most don’t realize they are missing, self-reflection. “Where am I f**king up and how can I fix it?”

I recently had a conversation with a friend and we both noticed that the past few months have been a time of reflection for us both. Realizing who needed to be in our lives and who didn’t. Realizing where we were effing up and needed to improve. And overall just really being intentional about changing the mental space we were in. I appreciated this conversation so much because even on this journey I need reminders that I’m not alone in this.

..it would behoove you to get used to yourself. To learn what habits don’t need breaking and pay attention to those you should throw away or tweak. –The Reign XY

The other hard part? Making the tough decisions to not allow certain individuals in your intimate space. Setting boundaries. Cutting ties. Realizing the people you once thought you couldn’t live without, don’t necessarily need a place in your life anymore.

But you know what? Growth and healing hurt so damn good sometimes. The process sucks, but I want to live my best life possible and that includes doing the not so fun work to get there.

2 Comments

  1. Reply

    Kate

    March 7, 2018

    That Brianna Wiest quote is THE MOST. And it’s been about a year since I cut my so-called “best friend” out of my life for negativity & general terribleness; it was an act of self-care like no other, unspeakably difficult but unquestionably the right decision. It has made such a major improvement on my overall quality of life.

    • Reply

      Ashleigh

      March 8, 2018

      I’ve had to step away from friendships as well and even distance myself from some family. I’m proud of you for doing that, I know it’s hard. As always, thanks for reading and supporting!! 🙂

Leave a Reply

RELATED POSTS