Love Better: Understanding the Five Love Languages



Such a complex topic. One of the greatest lessons I learned last year was that everyone does not perceive love the same way. There is no cookie-cutter way of showing it to those close to you and there for sure isn’t a one-size-fits-all manual. What we all do have is a love language. Knowing the love language of the people you spend the most time with is crucial because we can’t assume that everyone in our lives perceives love the same way. We have to realize that sometimes people aren’t receiving our “love” because we have differing perceptions of it. My love languages are Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation. For someone whose love language is Physical Touch, me telling them I appreciate them doesn’t hold as much weight as me giving them a hug when needed, or holding their hand while comforting them. These are the five love languages and examples of how people who value each one perceives love:

Quality Time

These people value the one-on-one time you share with them. Whether it’s five minutes of your day in the morning, a weekly lunch date, or even “Netflix and chill.” They just want your undivided attention and time with you.

  • Put your phone away while with them and give them your undivided attention.

  • Make an effort to hang out when you’re in town or vice versa.- Find an activity they love and do it with them.

Words of Affirmation

These people value kind words, they like to know that you appreciate them. Words of encouragement go a long way.- Send them a random text throughout the day to motivate or encourage them.

  • Send a card or letter for major life events.

  • Congratulate them on their accomplishments--big or small.

Physical Touch

This one is pretty self-explanatory. These people value body language and touch. They feel the most loved by genuine physical affection.- Randomly hold hands with them in public.

  • Include a warm hug in your greeting.

  • Spontaneous cheek and forehead kisses.

Acts of Service

These people value the work you put in. Really, they feel the most loved when you offer to help them in any way. Making their load a little lighter really shows you care.

  • Offer to help with an exhausting task.

  • Cook their favorite meal while they relax.

  • Random act of kindness throughout the day.

Gift Giving

I mean who doesn’t love a good gift? People who value receiving gifts don’t just want a gift card or random find. They value a thoughtful gesture that takes time and effort.

  • Give them a random “just because” gift.

  • Remember things that hold sentimental meaning to them when buying for them.

  • Perform a kind, unexpected gesture.

A person can definitely have more than one language and some value all five equally. Curious to find out what your love language is? Take this free quiz and share your results!

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